Among all kinds of train, high-speed one is the best for sketch something, or do anything on the desk, otherwise I feel sick from the moving. Venice trip was in the between middle and the end of our 5 weeks of Rome schedule, Feb 12-15, and I was going to start the new sketchbook. On the train, I looked back the sketches I did for the first one. The other sketchbook that I was going to use from the Venice, the first a few pages of it was drawn the very first day. I really didn’t like to see them and feel bad about have those in my sketchbook even though it’s my drawing. And that’s the point I started to redraw something on the top of it.
I thought about the Rome as a mid point, and I want to figure out myself that I ripped up some pages and try to hide what I don’t like about my sketchbook, not just understand it as a process is normal? or very abnormal. I tried to right down the reason why I did that to myself, the closest conclusion I made was I feel sort of burden to make my sketch as a ‘drawing’, plus the Moleskin sketchbook (not the notebook) made me feel like that) However still, I can’t tell what I did was right or no. After that thinking process, I tried to leave all as instant feelings, and I’m actually doing it now. (Actually now I changed my paper as the normal note) Until now, I have an obsession to make a better looking ‘drawing’ but I’ll keep questioning myself.
Train has a meaning for leaving somewhere. One more thing I thought about myself was where am I now. I wandered around so many different places in the past few years and at certain point, I thought I was pretty settled in the States, but now I was in Rome and even leaving to Venice, on the train. So what..? Where am I? This will be the very endless question.